"So Moses stretched out his staff over Egypt, and the LORD made an east wind blow across the land all that day and all that night. By morning the wind had brought the locusts; they invaded all Egypt and settled down in every area of the country in great numbers." --Exodus 10:13-14
I've determined that Abilene Christian must be holding a large group of people in bondage. Else, why would God deem appropriate to smite our campus with cricket infestation? There's also the possibility that some dolt awakened a mummified priest (ala "The Mummy") who has brought with him the plagues of Egypt. Pray it is not the latter.
Cry out in anguish, doomed citizens of Abilene, for the plagues have returned.
Seriously though, I need to get a picture on here soon for all to see. Chambers Hall (The English building, of course) is literally crawling with scores upon scores of these insects. The mere sight of a them nestled on our outer wall is enough to induce violent, projectile regurgitation. One of my female peers shrieked in horror upon the sight of one in our classroom the other day, before I stamped out his life with my mighty flip flop. I can only hope there are others as galant as I on campus...a fool's hope.
"They covered all the ground until it was black."
I'd also like to report the arrival of a newfangled plague: bird excrement falling from the sky like hail. One may not safely walk beneath any tree. Here is wisdom: Cover thy food and beverage while traversing campus.
Other than these drawbacks, it is a lovely campus.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
With a rise in food, the insect eating birds will naturally be out in greater force, and, need I say it, more food means more poo.
Also, in the event of a catastrophic disaster and no food remains on campus, crickets and locust are nutritious enough for survival consumption.
Three Haikus:
oh nasty cricket,
the birds eat you for breakfast,
yet we all despair.
chirp chirp chirp chirp chirp -
I would rather hear a crunch;
silence would be best.
God called forth this plague
to smite the ignorant ones;
Oh God, why us too?
Hahaha.... amazing. I'm glad we will get to share in your experience.
That's what you get for moving to the armpit of America.
Hey, read my blog.
And stay away from the Crickets.
Post a Comment