Amid the desolation, the plagues return

"So Moses stretched out his staff over Egypt, and the LORD made an east wind blow across the land all that day and all that night. By morning the wind had brought the locusts; they invaded all Egypt and settled down in every area of the country in great numbers." --Exodus 10:13-14

I've determined that Abilene Christian must be holding a large group of people in bondage. Else, why would God deem appropriate to smite our campus with cricket infestation? There's also the possibility that some dolt awakened a mummified priest (ala "The Mummy") who has brought with him the plagues of Egypt. Pray it is not the latter.

Cry out in anguish, doomed citizens of Abilene, for the plagues have returned.

Seriously though, I need to get a picture on here soon for all to see. Chambers Hall (The English building, of course) is literally crawling with scores upon scores of these insects. The mere sight of a them nestled on our outer wall is enough to induce violent, projectile regurgitation. One of my female peers shrieked in horror upon the sight of one in our classroom the other day, before I stamped out his life with my mighty flip flop. I can only hope there are others as galant as I on campus...a fool's hope.

"They covered all the ground until it was black."

I'd also like to report the arrival of a newfangled plague: bird excrement falling from the sky like hail. One may not safely walk beneath any tree. Here is wisdom: Cover thy food and beverage while traversing campus.

Other than these drawbacks, it is a lovely campus.

Embarking on the Scholastic Journey

So I just finished my second day of graduate school. I'm happy to learn that I will be challenged here. I just counted up my textbooks for my three courses and (drumroll please)....it comes to a paltry sum of 28. I shall require another bookshelf quite soon.

All of my professors are amiable and helpful. Dr. Rankin insists we call him Bill, while he addresses us as Dr. (last name). Amusing little inversion, no? I appreciate that they all seem to regard us as peers rather than wielding their superior intellect and experience over us. Some students respond to be treated like crap or indifferently, I suppose, but I anticipate myself molding my teaching methodology after what I've been exposed to thus far at ACU.

As for my course load: I've got Literary Theory, Rhetorical and Composition Praxis, and Contemporary Literary Non-fiction. As to the third class, I was told the course would be "Boundaries of Truth in Fiction." Imagine the surprise upon glancing at the bold letters at the top of the syllabus. "Oh crap, I'm in the wrong place." It turns out that the premise of the course still involves exploring "Truth," just through non-fiction...12 books of it, to be precise.

Comp/Rhet Praxis has me really excited because we actually discuss how to teach. All my standardized testing in the past reveals I'm strongest in rhetoric, so I'm quite interested to see how I perform in this class.

My brain is getting heavily just writing this stuff. Gone are the days of being a social butterfly. I'll be the guy constantly encamped in the writing center, entombed by stacks of books--which I'm sure will all bear coffee stains before long. Sounds a bit depressing, but this is what I love and I'm blessed to be doing it.

Pictures and such to come soon.

Self-inflicted woe

Yet if you devote your heart to him
and stretch out your hands to him,
If you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.
Job 11:13-16

Isolation can do things to the mind. Though until yesterday I was blessed to have the company of a close friend, I've felt my mind and soul aching--asking me to search within myself. I attempt to analyze every so often the course of my life: who I am, who've I been recently, my struggles, my sins, my weaknesses, and my relationships. Through all of this, I attempt to gain some insight as to the direction my life will head if I continue on my present heading.

Regarding the passage above: I've been reading Job the past few days and have been struck with the applications I've been able to draw. It took a great deal of misfortune to finally crack Job and for him to assume the role of the undeserving victim. God strips Job completely bare. Though incredulous to the words of criticism offered by his three friends, I began to wonder if our own wayward and misguided mindsets are often the source of our woe. It's easy to recoil in the face of strife and assume the role of the victim, but I believe God tries to communicate the areas in our life needing correction through the unfortunate patterns that develop in our lives. How much more beneficial to seek God and to improve oneself than to lament our pain?

I realize now that I've been quite a fool insofar as I've been on a quest for comfort. Not only have I been on the quest for comfort, but I've sought comfort and validation through other people and things--not God. I wrote in a previous post how we all seem to believe that if we just had that one thing that seems to elude us, we'd somehow be okay and happy. For the longest time, in my own life, that has been a relationship. The outcome of my pursuit seems now fairly predictable: lots of pain received and dished out, innumerable misunderstandings, regrets, and (most unfortunately, perhaps) friendships severed. I think sometimes we have to be corrected harshly before we can resolve to make changes in our lives. In Job 5:17-18, Eliphaz offers the following words to his beleaguered friend:

Blessed is the man whom God corrects;
so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he also binds up;
he injures, but his hands also heal.

Sometimes we receive a gut-check from above. As somewhat of a side-note, let me say that it's incredible the amount of clarity and peace can be received through simply reading the Bible. I didn't find it coincidental that I found my way to the book of Job when I finally realized I needed to actually seek God. Seeking God is the crux of the matter. All this time I've bemoaned my own misfortune, I wonder how earnestly I've sought God instead of comfort and happiness. Not surprisingly, I was reminded of the following quote: "If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair." --C.S. Lewis.

Though it's difficult, I consider myself blessed for the correction I've received. I wish to stand firm, to lift my face without shame, and to forget my troubles as water that has passed under the bridge. Thankfully, God has yet to give up on me. I hope you'll take heart that He hasn't given up on you, either.

Abilene Christian University

Today Paul and I went exploring on the campus. The most common words uttered today were "wow," "good grief," and from Paul "I'm jealous." The campus is incredible. There are courtyards everywhere, trees (!), art work and scultures in front of nearly every major building (including a spectacular display of rock, water, and plants at the university's entrance called "Jacob's dream"), and much more.

I would describe the campus as the oasis in the middle of the desert. The town is not impressive by any stretch of the imagination, but I will be spending most of my time on campus anyway--a fact that makes me quite excited. The interior of each building was as impressive as the exterior. The Bible building was remarkable: equipped with a spiral staircase, a very nice chapel, a train-staion-esque portion (for lack of better description), numerous paintings...etc.

The student center has a campus store vastly superior to that of OC. There are several fast food chain restaurants inside and a bowling alley on the bottom floor--because their student center actually requires multiple levels.

The library blew me away. First of all, there's a Starbucks on the 2nd level (including a Starbucks OFFICE nearby, which Paul and I both found incredible). The Theological Room of Reading was fantastic--it alone may house more books than the entire first floor of the OC library. Needless to say, I believe I shall enjoy the hours I spend in this building, likely sipping on my Starbucks macchiato as I research.

Lest I forget, the campus has a football and baseball field--making the OC facilities look rather paltry in comparison, I'm afraid. If I can get over the omnipresence of Purple, I believe I'll have quite a nice time.

More to come later, I'm sure. For now I must continue getting organized in my new apartment (which deserves a description and post of its own).

To everything, there is a season

So it's finally registering. The end of my final pre-adult summer has essentially ended. I daresay I've learned some things over the past few months and stand poised for chapter: Graduate School.

Lessons learned:

J.K. Rowling can write a whole lot better than I wanted to believe. Any aspiring author must read constantly--a fact voiced by every successful author I've had the opportunity to meet/hear speak. Reading the Potter series was pretty eye-opening in the sense that I was awakened to the caliber of writing one must produce to earn a fortune comparable to that of J.K. Rowling. Strange that reading something so enjoyable can also be considered research as well, no?

If you're going to paint a house by yourself during the dog days of summer, it's best to do so either in the morning or in the evening. Duh. What did I do most of the time? Painted during the middle of the afternoon. At least I can boast being a darker shade of Caucasian.

Adulthood is freaking expensive. When you move into a new place, there's a deposit or some other type of fee for everything. I had a conversation this afternoon with one of my undergrad professors about "good" debt and "bad" debt. Luckily, student loans qualify as the former, she said. She advised me to find a trust-fund baby wife in Abilene. In all honesty, though, I'm elated to be doing something I anticipate to bring me much fulfillment and joy. I can't do Corporate America...sorry. For all those who share the end goal of fulfillment/making a difference in the lives of others--as opposed to getting rich--I salute you!

Jet skiing is fabulous.

Misery usually doesn't last, though there are times we cannot possibly see any hope of respite. I suppose the same can be said for happiness. I do believe my faith developed a bit over the summer, and I try more and more to allow God to do what is best for me, for "the best schemes plans of mice and men go oft awry" indeed. I feel like I could write a novel on that last sentence, but that Steinbeck guy already did. Suffice it to say that trusting God (and surrendering your own "control") is one of the most difficult things to do. I hope I'm getting better.

I believe I'll insanely miss my mother's cooking. But...I do have a crock pot to work with. And a George Foreman grill...

I'll be happy to report on the grad school scene in Abilene soon. I make the trek early tomorrow morning, and will be interested to see if this place is the desolate wastleand I've envisioned through the descriptions of various Texans. I have this picture of Luke Skywalker's home planet of Tatooine in my head...hope I'm wrong.

Blasphemy

The dominant color of my new school is purple. The mascot is the Wildcat.

I'm surprised the residents of Lawrence have yet to lynch me.

Adulthood....alas!

Pro-rated August rent: $329

UHaul one-way to Abilene: $232

TXU electricity deposit: $250

New tires for Jeep: $450

The prospect of being broke by the time I reach the Texas border: Sobering

Resolving to write a best-seller by the time I'm 30: ......Priceless

Transforming potential into reality

"The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of."
--Lewis, Mere Christianity

I want to expound on something I wrote in my last post.

"I believe God does not wish us to be idle, and that the unhappiness and discontent that follow long durations of it offer proof that God wants us to live up to our potentials and do great things with our lives."

Granted, there are folks who drift through life in a purple haze and don't value their existence enough to lament their aimlessness. The existence of such people would seem to contradict the belief I posit in quotations above. However, I personally believe this seeming indifference to be veiled cowardice. I think a lot of people are afraid of giving their all, being passionate about life...which I suppose makes some sense. If they give their all and fail, where does that leave them? In the words of George McFly, "I just don't know if I could take that kind of rejection!"

Lately a good friend and I have discussed how we desire to do something. We both think we've been blessed with abilities and potential to succeed and leave a lasting mark in life. I recently realized that we both needed to grow up, stop bemoaning our boredom, and do something. I believe God opens doors, but that we have to put ourselves in position to be successful! The thing I of which I am most proud in regard to my college career is this: I allowed myself to be placed in leadership positions which stretched me and forced me to mature. I immersed myself as fully as I could in the campus and busied myself with various responsibilities in addition to my academics.

I believe to busy yourself is to allow God to give you a sense of fulfillment. This summer has been good for me in several ways. I've had time alone to think about my life and the course I wish to follow. One of the things I realized is that I cannot live long without being immersed in something--which is partially why I opted to go to graduate school in the fall. After I have been idle for any decent duration, something within me groans. I am not satisfied. There is much more to do in this life, much more to be. Earlier this summer, I was miserable, but then I was offered a path..a means to end my discontent. The decision was not difficult. In effect, I feel I chose happiness. I think we're all faced with similar choices every so often. I am reminded of the lyrics of a favorite song of mine: "If I don't let myself be happy now, then when? If not now, when?"

An important point to remember: we must be careful with that which we busy ourselves. Many activities and pursuits may fill the time, but will they all offer you fulfillment? There come times when we all must choose to either listen to the whispers blown to our hearts--which I perceive to be God imploring "let me help you!"--or ignore them, elongating our misery.

Here's to not being satisfied, to making realities of dreams and potential, to putting ourselves in a position to be successful.